Teenage girl dating younger boy
She wants to be “that girl” who stays by his side through thick and thin. Whatever the reason, it became clear that this was an unhealthy relationship. She had become insecure and so unsure of him that she was staying on the phone at all hours just so she knew that he wasn’t with anyone else. He had stood her up multiple times on the weekend when she was all ready to go out and spend her time with him.Maybe she just genuinely loved him and believed it when he said that they should go to college together and then get married. And now she was heartbroken and not talking to me about any of it. I thought long and hard about what to do to help her.
I wasn’t grounding her, she wasn’t being punished; what I did for her was to do what she couldn’t find the strength to do herself.
I felt that a letter would also allowed her to hear me, all of what I was saying, without interruption and without the argument that would most likely occur if I started in on the topic while she was already feeling so confused and emotional. First I tols her how much I love her, how wonderful she is, how much she deserves and why I am so proud to be her Mother. I told her that as of that day, she would no longer be allowed to see this boy.
She would relinquish all communication devices to me (cell phone, Ipod Touch, laptop) for the duration of the week, only to have these things back on Fridays in order to make plans with friends for the weekend.
As a woman in her 30’s, having made it through adolescence, high school, young love and hasty decisions, a divorce, and also a couple of serious relationships, I can say with certainty that I have experienced a broken heart more than one time. And I like to think that these experiences have made me stronger, more realistic, and less willing to put up with people who aren’t ever going to really show up for me.
I felt it when my first serious boyfriend in high school kissed my friend and we broke up; I felt it when my dad decided he loved a much younger woman and walked out on us; and I felt it again as an adult when the man I fell in love with after my divorce ended our relationship for reasons that elude me to this day. Until recently, I thought that My daughter, nearly sixteen years old, and I have always maintained a close relationship with very strong communication skills. I noticed her confidence level rising, her grades were perfection, she had a great attitude not only towards me, but also towards her two younger sisters which, let’s face it, is not always the case.
Eventually, she came downstairs and was allowed use of her phone for one hour.